just for tonight.

so piczo is one big fuck up.. im leaving until its sorted itself out cos i am fed up of not being able to post picture posts

hey baby cakes, whats up?
so today was just "one of them days". shit. first thing in the morning i had a chemistry test which i failed horribly, and it actually counts towards my a-levels which is the bad thing. so that stresses me out like mad that i just counted do it and i revised the night before and everything?! to top it all of my teacher had a go at me about it. i was just so mad i nearly burst into tears. ergh! also hayley and greg were not in today and i know this will sound lame but i felt lost without them.. it felt weird and incomplete. and just people in general seemed to get to me.
on a bright note i havnt been on here in like over a week and i come back to find myself on the homepage yet again. i literally smiled. it made my shitty day a hell of a lot better so thank you guys for making me happy. i love you all for it.
so half term came and went pretty fast, and i did nothing that amazing.. which was silly of me but oh well i REALLLLLLLY needed my sleep. i sorted things out with hayley. i didn't see the point in me causing a fuss and making a big deal out of it when i can just as easily avoid a fight. so i did. and i feel good now :) i recently have been thinking a lot about the past. days, weeks, months, years even. i just can't seem to get it out of my head how i miss it, no idea why because im happy now (maybe not today:L) but its really weird. i think its winter if im honest, makes me feel all wistful and nostalgic.

so firstly im freaking out about this whole relationship thing. the whole idea of a boyfriend always freaks me out right now. every boyfriend ive had i have always freaked out. i dont even know why but im just like omg im like in commitment here. and it scares me. yet some days i feel really happy i have him but other days im like oh wow:\|. secondly my best friend just doesnt seem to give a shit so much anymore, she's too obsessed with her new boyfriend. no, not even that as they have a peculiar relationship.. its shes more obsessed with her new friendship group. i guess i hang out with them too, only cos of the boyf i guess. and dont get me wrong i do like them. but i want my old friends back who went of to different colleges :( i NEED them back. and i dont talk to as many people in school as i used to i guess we have all drifted apart and found new interests, its just akward for some reason. this is really pissing me of right now, and im not usually the type of person who is ever sad. i literally only have a happy and angry emotion, yet not sad. and to be honest with you im usually a very opptemistic person. god i dont know whats gotten into me, jealousy? frustration? fucking confusion?
RIGHT. ill stop complaining and get on with life, everything always sorts out eventually...

last saturday night consisted of:

 - rather drunk people
 - squash mixed with every possibly alcoholic beverage -classy ;)
 - walking in on Meat taking a shit.
 - show off boys
 - getting told that "your not making a porno, okay?" about me and greg by his best mate. suppose making out with him a tad "heatedly" infront of 15 innocent people wasnt my smartest idea
 - shoving a baby doll in the fridge

to sum it up, not a shabby night.

here is some of the alcohol from that night, so i decided to take a picture :)

such poor shaky drunk hand quality!

i actually have no pictures from the party really, seeing as i was a bit occupied :') but i generally couldnt be asked to be on camera patrol that night. but i believe overall it was a pretty good night. a lot better than i expected. to be fair i think i've had 2 weekends off partying since ive been back at school. oh my oh my...
right. decision made. i need to get back to my possetive outlook on life, and go sort this shit out. im not letting anything get in the way. tbh im usually the one giving people advise to people about how to take sort their life out and take control of situations or just the typical "cheer up" chat. hence why im never upset, dont see the need in it. but i never have anyone to get this sort of stuff off my chest. sometimes i just feel like i care for people more than they care about me.. hmmmm maybe its just me looking into it too much? :) are any of you like that? or is it just me who has to comfort everyone and hardly ever get comfort when i need it?

this picture of hayley just makes me piss myself. she looks so freaking weird. bless the fool <3 gotta love her.

omg and this is another picture i found from a year ago. i find it hilarious too, if you dont know french it means something like it's prefered "rape" but i dont know what rape means in french so it just made me and hayley laugh. a lot.. :') we are so mature. dont you just love it how you can act like a right immature nob with your best friend and they wont think you're weird unlike other people who'd never understand you!